TUSHY Sent 73 Emails in 15 Weeks. 15 Had a Discount.

TUSHY runs about four campaigns a week. About bidets. We captured 73 emails over 15 weeks, December through March — welcome and cart flows included.

15 carried a real, stated discount. All 15 sit inside three sale windows — Dec 10–16, Dec 26–30, Feb 9–15. Outside those windows, campaigns carry no discount at all; the lone exception anywhere is a 20% cashback offer tucked into the cart flow.

Set aside the 13 flow emails our signups triggered, and what's left is a content magazine. Here's the engine, format by format.

A newsletter called POSTERIOR

POSTERIOR, TUSHY's in-email magazine, ran four distinct issues in our window — several reached us more than once. It has its own masthead — "Food for your brain, not to be flushed." — plus a blog teaser, a product row, a meme slot, and a video block.

Here are six captures of four issues. Two appear twice — same shell, different product row each time. That looks like a per-recipient recommendation engine inside the newsletter.

The myth-busters

Objection handling runs as comedy. The last email in the corpus is five bidet myths, each rebuttal ending at a different product category — cost, hygiene, and this one:

“"Listen, I'm straight." — Mazel tov. Washing your bottom doesn't appear to change your sexual orientation. Yet.”

Three more from the same shelf:

The fairy tales

Narrative pieces, no offer in any of them. An illustrated fairytale for the Ottoman stool, a day in the life of a butt named Lady Caca, and a life-of-your-butt arc that opens like this:

“Once upon your mom's torn asshole ...”

Holidays without a sale

Holidays are content premises here, not sale triggers. Christmas Eve got real Catalan poop traditions and a CTA that just says "MERRY XMAS". New Year's got a butt-positivity manifesto, Presidents' Day a product matchmaker, March Madness a bracket.

“"You miss 100% of the shots you don't spray." – Your Butthole”

Groupchats, memes, a stool chart

The internet-culture shelf. A Bristol Stool Chart deals out insults, a fabricated iMessage thread ends in food poisoning, and in a fake groupchat the products roast their owners.

“Everybody poops but my human paints the bowl like a hog.”

The matchmakers

Every quiz ends at the catalog. Sick-day symptoms map to models, a boxing card stages Battle of the Bidets, and a three-tier warmth ladder climbs from towels to a hot spring to a luxury car. It's a good-better-best upsell with no prices shown.

The three sale windows

Then there's the selling. All 15 discount emails, in three grids.

Christmas delivery first: five emails, Dec 10–16, up to 20% off — four of the five name the Dec 16 delivery cutoff. The last one closes with "Order today (or wipe until 2026)."

Boxing Day gets the next five. The opener itemizes the sale per SKU — percent in the headline, dollar amount in the button. A Spa-only follow-up lands four hours later.

Valentine's closes it out: 15% off attachments, 30% off scents. Feb 9 gets two sends an hour apart — self-love angle, then couples angle. "Flowers die. Bidets change your hole life."

The snap-back

That Feb 15 last call is the final discount in the corpus. At 22:00 the same day — five hours later — this landed:

Discount mode comes off like a costume. The final 14 sends, Feb 15 through Mar 23, carry no offer — same as the 26 straight sends over the 38 days from New Year's Eve to February 7.

What we noticed

• 15 discounts in 73 sends, every one inside a roughly week-long window; between windows, campaigns never discount. The longest dry run was 26 sends over 38 days without an offer.
• The content formats still sell. Myth rebuttals, matchmakers, and presidents all route to product categories — education fills the space between sales.
• The sale reads like a costume, not a mode change. The voice is the same on both sides of a window; mostly the buttons change.